Finn was actually kind of glad Rachel talked him into this. He’d never tell anyone this, but he was almost having fun. He wasn’t ever going to do it again, but he was content for a moment. Plus, it beat staying home and installing the new air conditioning unit that Burt had bought. He knew basically everyone would have laughed in Rachel’s pretty face and told her, “Hell no!” He seemed to be the only on unable to do that. Upon further reflection, Finn wasn’t sure if he envied those people or if he pitied them.
He let an attendant help him chose this armor since he had less than no idea what he was doing and just went along for the ride.
Rachel was waiting in the ring. She hoped this would turn out well enough. She wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. Finn could barely walk without tripping; how was he supposed to maneuver around with a weapon? She figured this spectacle would be more cringe-worthy to watch than Finn dancing to Kanye.
On the other hand, he hadn’t really complained like she thought he might. Sure, he’d been less than impressed with her “Greensleeves” idea, but he’d eventually gone along with it. She figured they’d come away from this experience and be closer as a couple. The prospect delighted her. She took her position.
It was after five when Finn finally came out. If he’d felt uncomfortable before, he’d just been being a baby (which he totally needed to fix). He was weighed down an extra forty pounds by sheet metal or something. He could only be glad they weren’t making him ride a horse. Otherwise, he figured he’d be screwed. They’d stationed Rachel in a chair to the North end of the ring, behind a veil. Apparently these Renaissance folks were itching for mystery. Well, he could get down with that. Nobody was taking Rachel from him, even in pretend.
He’d been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed the announcer call out for the first contender to join him in the ring. Finn preferred the modern way of fighting for your girl: you slammed a guy’s head into a locker and growled at him to stay away. But since he was here, he’d play by their rules. Well, if he could remember all of them.
Finn took in his competition. The guy was shorter than Finn, but that wasn’t uncommon. He really hoped he’d be able to laugh about this someday. Finn barely paid attention as his sword (no, he hadn’t gotten a cooler one, thanks) clanked against the other one. He knew the fight wasn’t serious and they weren’t allowed to actually hurt each other, but he was trying to make it cool for the kids. And for Rachel. The stray thought of Rachel caused him to falter momentarily, allowing the other guy to knock him to his knees. Crap. He needed to fix this.
"That’s riiiiiiight!" the voice sing-songed.
Finn wanted to die. "Mr. Schue?" he asked in disbelief.
"Finn?" The glee club teacher’s hesitation enabled Finn to get up and knock him to the ground, holding him there.
"What are you doing here?” Finn wondered as the announcer declared him the winner.
"I’m babysitting my cousin’s kids for the weekend. They said they come to this festival every year." His tone was strained. "Why are you here?”
Finn heard Mr. Schue laugh and, God; he just wanted to get out of there.
When they marched Rachel over, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the dressing room. He quickly threw the armor off (he was so glad to be able to breathe again). He tried to explain why they had to leave and didn’t know how to feel when Rachel just laughed at him.
"I wonder who was more embarrassed," she said as they walked.
"If I hadn’t won, it definitely would have been me," he replied.
"Oh, Finn," Rachel said dramatically. It always made his knees a little weaker when she said his name like that. "It’s not as if Mr. Schuester would actually have won my heart. That will always be yours."
He realized then that he would forever be at Rachel Berry’s mercy. He was worse than the broken little puppy that had followed him around for a month when he was thirteen. Strangely enough, it didn’t seem like such a bad way to live.
He was about to kiss her when he noticed where they had ended up. “How did we get here again?" Finn asked, keeping his eyes on those creepy little chickens. He was seriously starting to hate poultry. Nasty little buggers.
Before he could shrug and tell Rachel they should get out of there, he saw her eyes go wide. He turned around and cursed.
"Yo!" he called. "What’re you doing?"
A truck (right, because they totally had trucks in the 1500s. They didn’t even have toothpaste!) was backing towards the coop. Obviously, the driver hadn’t heard him. Finn and Rachel clambered out of the way, but not before the driver misjudged his distance and backed right through the fence. Swearing, he pulled up again and cut the engine.
Finn was convinced these chickens were mutants. Maybe they were radioactive or something. Like Spiderman. Regular chickens weren’t this hostile and glower-y, were they? Because as soon as the escape route had opened up, dozens of chickens were running and flapping, making their way out. People in the vicinity were barreling away and Finn wasn’t stupid enough to stick around and watch the show. He’d never been chased by chickens before, but he was finding he didn’t like it.
"We are so leaving," he told Rachel, silently willing her to agree as they fought their way through the crowd of hysterical people and raging birds.
She nodded fearfully, stumbling in her costume. Deciding not to waste any time, Finn scooped her up and carried her to his truck.
"Finn! Finn! My dress!" Rachel was frantically trying to gather her skirts.
"Just shut the door on it!" he ordered.
He was surprised she listened to him, but she did. He took off. Once he got a mile or so out of the parking lot, he pulled over to the side of the road. And laughed.
“What is so funny?” Rachel inquired hotly.
Breathing some, Finn explained,” We just got chased out of a Renaissance Fair by a mob of angry chickens!" This brought on another round of hysterics. Oh, shit. He was going insane. For real this time! He was literally, completely going insane. And he wasn’t even bothering to try and stop it. At least Rachel joined in this time.
When he could focus again, he looked at her. “We are never doing this again.”
"Hell no," Rachel swore, breaking her usual character.
Oh, yeah. He absolutely, positively loved her. No question.
Antics is a wonderful collection of one-shots by egyouppt that showcases just that: the antics and craziness of one Rachel Berry and how Finn Hudson is always, inevitably, roped into joining the chaos. Well-written and spot on in terms of characterization, this collection shows very well how good Finn and Rachel are for each other and how their individual personalities influence the change in the other and also Finchel as a whole.