These Hearts, They Race From Self Control
It kind of terrifies him how much he feels for her.
They get in a fight (she later blames the stress of regionals) but it freaks him out beyond belief. It’s only two days of her turning her nose up at him and refusing even to look at him, but it’s two days of utter hell. He’s faced with the idea of losing her and he doesn’t know what to do. It’s not supposed to be like this, he thinks.
He should be tough, like Puck. He depends way too much on her, on creepy calendars and random baked goods and soft lips and the sound of her voice wrapping around him.
He didn’t know it was possible to feel this way about someone, yet alone feel this much for someone. He loves her. He thinks about when they’re out of school and living in New York, and what the hell? That’s way too far into the future to think about. He thinks about her headboard banging against the wall, and sure, he’s always had those thoughts, but now the want is eating away at him, and she’s everything he sees and knows and wants in this world.
It’s fucking terrifying.
What if it scares her away? What if it’s too intense for her?
Then he remembers that it’s Rachel, and intense is her middle name. (But does she think about her headboard banging against the wall? Maybe he’ll just work extra hard to keep that part a secret.)
I’ve just been completely bowled over by this beautiful one-shot. These Hearts, They Race From Self Control is another wonderful story from Finn’s perspective by monroeslittle, giving us 19 glimpses into his mind during the course of his relationship with Rachel - before and after they got together. There’s really not much more to say, other than you should read it and let it blow you away, too.